Archive for the ‘Text Based Humor’ Category

If President Obama Reinstitutes The Draft…

Monday, June 8th, 2009

Day 1

Drill Sergeant: Welcome to basic training. I am your drill instructor. I am also your worst nightmare, and I am going to work you to the bone. You will not like me, but as God is my witness I will make soldiers out of you.

Private Ethan: Excuse me “Drill guy”, I need my A.D.D medication.

Drill Sergeant: You will get your medication when I say you can get your medication.

Private Ethan: Right… so I’m going to get my Adderall now because I need it, and I’ll be back later.

Private Keith: Can you get me one, too? I’ll give you 6 bucks.

Private Shawn: Well if he’s getting his pills then I’m gonna go call my girlfriend.

Drill Sergeant: No one’s going anywhere, and you will begin and end every sentence with “sir”, is that clear?

Private Dylan: Why?

Drill Sergeant: Because I said so you no good piece of sh*t.

Private Dylan: How is calling me a piece of sh*t supposed to motivate me?

Private Keith: My English teacher once called me a piece of sh*t and my parents sued his ass back to the Stone Age.

Drill Sergeant: Drop and give me 20, now!

(more…)

Definition of Humor

Monday, June 8th, 2009

Humour or humor (see American and British English spelling differences) is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. Many theories exist about what humour is and what social function it serves. People of all ages and cultures respond to humour. The majority of people are able to be amused, to laugh or smile at something funny, and thus they are considered to have a “sense of humour.”

A sense of humour is the ability to experience humour, although the extent to which an individual will find something humorous depends on a host of variables, including geographical location, culture, maturity, level of education, intelligence, and context. For example, young children may possibly favour slapstick, such as Punch and Judy puppet shows or cartoons (e.g., Tom and Jerry). Satire may rely more on understanding the target of the humour, and thus tends to appeal to more mature audiences. Nonsatirical humour can be specifically termed “recreational drollery.”

Stupid People Doing Stupid Things

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

The world would be a shitty place without idiots, there would be no one to laugh at.

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_abuse.shtml/